The Blondinator
by Arcane Reptar
Summary: Not all of the Blondes were destroyed-and now they're out for revenge. They've sent a cyborg to track down Mordecai and Rigby-and kill them at any costs. Now, everyone's lives are on the line. Rated T just in case.


**Hello! This is my first Regular Show fanfiction, so I don't know if it'll be good, but feedback is greatly appreciated! :3**

**Also, the plot probably sounds pretty stupid-it sorta just popped into my head. It might end up sort of like a Regular Show version of Terminator, but I dunno. :P Anyways, enjoy!**

The door to the cavernous underground base slowly slid open. Stacked up against the walls were countless barrels of hydrogen peroxide. Pipes and electrical lines decorated the ceiling. Standing around the base were tall men, each wearing dark blue coats and a gray turtleneck sweater. Their faces and skin tones were different, but their hair color all conformed.

One of the blondes, who seemed significantly taller and stronger than the rest, casually strolled over to the end of the base, where several other blondes were assidulously working, typing away at holographic computer terminals, and hooking up wires to different ports drilled all along the body of an unconscious blonde, looking identical to a human being, eyes closed, completely naked.

The blonde leader narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "How is the progress on the android?" he barked.

The blonde drones turned to face the leader. "Just fine, sir. In just a matter of a few hours, the robot will be fully functional. Mechanics are fully finished. We are currently implementing the Artificial Intelligence Component."

Another blonde crouched down over the android's body and opened up a door on its chest. A robotic arm descended from the ceiling, carrying in its claws a square-shaped, green and gray microchip. The arm lowered itself and stopped above the android's chest, and drilled the chip into the component port.

Inside the component port, green and blue lights shimmered to life, and electrical currents flowed throughout. One of the blondes shut the lid carefully. The arm raised itself back to the ceiling.

"We are only tasked with downloading some files into its memory," the drone continued. "Such as the prime directive."

"Yes, yes," the leader cackled and formed an evil grin. "And I'm sure you remember the prime directive."

"Yes, sir. This android, the B.L.O.N.D.E. (Blonde Look-Alike Operator and Normal-Haired Doofus Exterminator), will help us achieve-"

"Blonde Look-Alike Operator and Normal-Haired Doofus Exterminator?" the leader sneered. "What kind of a name is that?"

"We had some trouble coming up with, um...uh..." the drone began to sweat. "A clever acronym."

The leader heavily sighed. "All right, all right, go on."

"It will help us achieve our main goal-to find the two ones who almost caused the extinction of our cult." The drone smiled. "And kill them."  
"Excellent." The leader nodded his head.

The drone turned back to his computer terminal and brought up images of a tall blue jay, and a short brown raccoon. He began to install them into the B.L.O.N.D.E.'s memory. The data, riding along currents through a cable, transmitted itself into the memory component in the back of the android's head. Electrical noises sputtered from the cables, and a faint humming noise emitted from the terminal.

"Data transfer download is halfway complete. Just a few more files and we should be finished..."

The leader tapped his foot on the metal floor impatiently. "In the meantime, I want the rest of my men to gather the artillery. We can't allow the robot to be unarmed." He faced one of the blondes standing by the barrels of peroxide. "You! Go to the armory and grab all the strongest weapons you can."

The blonde nodded his head and grunted. He sprinted down the hall and rounded a corner.

"Done!" the drone exclaimed. "Data transfer is complete." He tapped a few keys on the terminal. "Now to activate it..."

[B.L.O.N.D.E.]  
Control Console

Request:

/activate;

Fulfilling request...  
Activating B.L.O.N.D.E.

The android's cables were immediately disconnected, and its eyelids swiftly opened. The eyes were bright and completely blue, with no apparent pupils. The blue faded to white, and pupils expanded in the middle. Its eyelids closed and opened a few times, and its vision came into focus.

The only color it could see were tones of blue, but it had been equipped with a thermal camera as well. It scanned the figure of the blonde leader before him, and accessed its memory for a validation check. Once it confirmed, the android downloaded various new memory on its own, in a matter of nanoseconds.

The android flexed its fingers on its left hand and raised its arm. It curiously watched its functions as it began to walk forward towards the leader smoothly, exactly like a human being would.

"You see, sir," the drone explained, "the artificial intelligence component allows it to essentially have a mind of its own. It can...reprogram itself. It can download new memory on its own. It is entirely its own being. Almost like a living thing."

"Great work," the leader said, without any encouragement. "It looks exactly like a human. No one will ever suspect it." The leader stepped forward to the android. "What are your prime directives?"

The android read and interpreted the leader's vocal patterns. "Prime directives," the android said flatly, emotionlessly. "Prime directives: Track down the ones known as...Mordecai, and...Rigby."

"And?"

"And terminate them," the android said. "At all costs. Nothing will stand in my way. Any normal-haired who interferes with the mission..." A smile crept across the android's face, and his eyebrows curved down. "...will be terminated as well."

"Sir, the mechanics have been designed so that it has a layer of living human tissue over its metal insides. But it is still virtually indestructible. It feels no pain, or remorse." The drone chattered excitedly. "It is the ultimate killing machine."

"So you're saying..." the leader asked, "that it can bleed?"

"Yes, sir, it bleeds...but that won't stop it. It still has a strong layer of tissue over it, so it will take several shots from the strongest weapons to deal damage."

"Let us test it out, then..." The leader reached into his coat and pulled out a shining, silver pistol. He squeezed the trigger, and the bullet only ricocheted off of the android's chest. The leader fired several more shots until the clip was empty-still no damage-only slight bruises. The android looked down at his chest for a few seconds, and then looked back up.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

"Yes," the leader nodded. "Yes, this will definitely do the job. Now, I want you to do more configuration, before releasing it into the public eye. You got that?"

"We'll get right to it."

"Good." And the leader turned around and strided back down the cavernous corridor.


End file.
